Forever gets Lonely
by RougeLioness
Summary: My take on after she ran. How long can someone run before the past catches up with them? And who says you can't go home?
1. Chapter 1

First she fell in love with hi smile, then with his laugh, then with the things she didn't think anyone could or should love at all. The way he clenched his jaw when he argued, and the way he turned away from a fight. How he believed everyone was worth saving but believed in her no matter the odds.

She had that feeling like when you get to the end of a good book. You can feel the pages shifting between your fingers as the ending starts to get near. You want to read slower and faster all at once, you never want it to end, but want it to be on your terms when it does. She wishes she has the strength to put the book down, not to turn that final page and read that last line.

Now she is starting a new book, somewhere between California and Indiana. Wyatt watches as she fiddles with the radio that hasn't worked since he got the car a year ago. She wants to believe he is quiet because she wishes him to be, but she can see the pain on his face, and she knows it's the pain of someone who has no words left to say. And they are similar in their quest for answers, they have a need, but neither know the right questions to ask. She wonders if he will drop her off somewhere between here and where he is meant to go. As much as she wants to stay with at least a part of this person she has become she knows goodbyes are suppose too last forever.

It's another day of landscapes that past two quickly for her to see, and memories she refuses to make. He watches her as she watches the fields and trees pass them by. Then again isn't it them that are going too fast, that are passing things by? She wishes he would keep his eyes on the road and she wishes cars didn't remind her of when her life turned to this confusing muddle of things she never thought she would have to see. Sometimes the silence is so unbearable she could swear she could hear her ribs shifting against every breath. Then her voice scares her into pulling her knees to her chest and she has to brush the tears from her eyes.

"I kissed Brandon." She refuses to watch the emotion play out on his face. She can hear his sharp inhale of breath. And she hates herself for being selfish, he didn't need to know and she knew all this time that it would only hurt. But he deserved something didn't he?

"Is he that bad of a kisser?" He laughs and she both wants to hug him and wants to jump out of this car, because he isn't supposed to make this easier. Not for her, not this time. She shakes her head as the tears come to her eyes. "Callie?" He says this softer and she can almost block out the sound of his voice against the wind that is now blowing in her eyes and through her hair.

"No. It was good." She looks at him now, and is surprised to see his eyes on the road, hands at ten and two. Somehow this gives her courage to go on. "Jude doesn't deserve this." She says it even as she sees his right hand move to touch her leg. She shifts, moving her leg out of arm length. He looks hurt but doesn't comment.

"Cal, what about what you deserve?" She shakes her head. It has never factored in. It's something she learned from her mother, something that even now she holds still to.

"Don't call me that." She is surprised by the venom in her own voice, and wishes she could explain why it hurts so much, why she lashes out when she wants to curl up.

"He is going to miss you." She appreciates he doesn't seem to be making her go back, but she wishes he would fight her, cut her so she might stop hurting them both.

"He will be safe. For the first time in over ten years he will be safe. That is all I ever wanted. I have failed at keeping him safe so many times before, I'm not going to take him away from that now." She hates herself for every time she held onto him, and she was weak for making them stand side by side wasn't she? Maybe he could have been adopted, and never known the abuse they shared.

Wyatt just watched as she curled into herself, and he was the one to reach for the radio this time. He busied himself with watching the road as he tried to tune out her silence.

It's a gas station halfway between somewhere she should have never been and the only place she has belonged when he calls her home. She is finally wiping away days' worth of tears and exhaustion when she hears him on his cell phone. She can almost hear Brandon on the other side and she turns out the back door when it's his turn for the bathroom. She is glad they are now in St. Louis. There are buildings to hide behind, and she is long gone before he has the chance to realize she is gone.


	2. Chapter 2

She has forgotten what it takes to live by herself, and it's more than that. She has forgotten what it means to live for herself. First she lived for her mother's smile, then for her brother's safety. Now she has only herself to depend on, and only herself depending on her. It's almost as liberating as it is scary. She finds a group home to sleep in for that night, and takes comfort that she isn't the only one that glances at the door when sirens go by. For a moment she wishes the doorway would contain a Foster when it opens. She leaves before the sun has fully risen, and she breathes in the smell of the city. She doesn't wonder if Wyatt is looking for her, and can't wonder what Jude or Brandon are doing. She just pushes herself to find her way in this world she has created for herself.

It only takes her a day or two to find some other kids who have run out of places to go. The boy with the longer black hair goes by Raven and he introduces the girl hanging off his arm as Juliet. Callie has to resist the urge to point out the cruel irony of Shakespeare. Next comes Anthony, with his broad shoulders and short blond hair. He smiles at her and she watches his eye. They all look about her age. There is a boy, blond with bright blue eyes that stands just behind them, and he looks to be about ten. She thinks of Jude for only a moment. Declan is a little shy Anthony explains, and he almost seems to apologize though she isn't sure who to.

"I'm Callie." She says it the way she wants her name to be pronounced, like a whisper that could stay or go with the wind. Anthony holds out some bread and she takes half, savoring it.

"What brings you out here?" They are sitting and she has to wonder how she got to be sitting in a back alley in a town she has never been to with people she doesn't know if she can trust.

"Nowhere else to go." She won't apologize, even if it comes out sounding like part of a lie.

"Our father died." Declan pronounces, and he almost seems proud of the fact. She watches as Anthony pulls the boy to him, fear and challenge in his eyes.

"My mother did." She finds herself saying, the girl laughs and Callie can't help but think it's the type of laugh that someone who named herself Juliet would have.

"Ours two." Anthony says, and Declan now hides in his brother's arm. And it makes her eyes water.

"Time to go." Raven says, and she can sense they are all kids of few words, and she likes that about them. They don't ask if she is coming along but Anthony walks behind her, and she blends in as she follows them on streets she wouldn't be able to remember the names to.

It's about an hour later when they sneak in to a side door of an apartment building. They use the stairs and Callie walks in the footsteps of the child in front of her till they reach a door that Raven opens. He then leads them up the fire escape and to another room. Callie looks around at the makeshift home they have put together. There are two mattresses pushed up against the walls and a gaggle of blankets and sleeping bags on the floor.

"It's kind of like a sleepover every night." Declan claims. "You can share my blanket till we can steal you one." He has a toothy grin, and she wonders for a moment at who brings him tooth fairy money.

"That's okay I might not be staying long." She wants to make it clear. She isn't meant to stay in one place to long.

"You are safe here." Anthony tells her, placing his hand on her elbow, before pulling away so quickly she wonders if he even touched her at all.

"I'm going to see what I can get for dinner." Raven says and Declan races to follow him. Juliet just laughs before saying something about a shower and following the other two down the fire escape.

It leaves Callie and Anthony standing at what could be a passing moment, or what could be a memory.

"Do you want to talk?" He offers it gently, watching as she pulls away.

"Not really." She mumbles and pulls at her sleeves.

"Well we don't really have television. So staring contest?" He asked cheekily and Callie smiled. And she wanted to pull away, because it was safer. But she was the only one who she could hurt and it felt good to smile. "Or we have a card deck in this mess somewhere. Strip poker?" She laughed out right at this.

"We could talk." She offers it slowly, hoping she can take it back if she wants.

"If you want." He shrugs as if nothing she can say could shake him.

"I ran away. Originally from California. My father killed my mother driving drunk. He killed a few people in other cars too. He is still in jail I think." She says it, waiting for a reaction, wanting to shock him.

"I'm on the run too. Killed my father after he beat my mother to death." He says it so nonchantly. She wishes she could hide her gasp. "I know." He says it as he looks at her, giving her permission to think what she thinks.

"So you took your brother and ran?" She smiles at him, willing him to go on.

"Something like that. What about you? Any siblings?"

She wants to lie, she isn't sure if she is protecting herself or Jude anymore. "One brother. His name is Jude. He is about the same age as Declan." She wants to erase him from her mind, and she wants to hold him again.

"What happened?" They are sitting on the mattress in the far corner now and his hand is on her knee.

"We finally got what we have always wanted. What I always wanted for him." She says it and she wants to take all her mistakes away, wants to go back to the day her mother last held her. He holds her when she starts to cry and she hates him for it, hates him for letting her be weak.

She has calmed down by the time the others come back. No one seems surprised to see her curled up on Anthony's bed. Juliet perches on the other bed like a cat. Her hair is dripping water but no one seems to care. Callie is reminded of Mariana and she shakes her head to clear it. She accepts the food that is handed to her, choosing not to ask what it is and willing herself not to taste it as she scarfs it down.

Anthony curls himself around Callie protectively and she wants to push him away but he keeps just enough distance and it's a dangerous game Callie has chosen to play. She kisses him on the cheek once; she pulls away after and pretends to sleep, all the while feeling his hand on her arm then back to what is his side of his bed.

**Authors Note: So let me know what you think so far. I am going to have Callie back at the Foster's soon, I just think she needs to do some discovering herself before she goes back. Do you guys like the other characters? I haven't decided if any of them are going to be in the story after she goes back. **


	3. Chapter 3

When Callie wakes her head is on Anthony's shoulder and their legs are tangled together. She gets out of bed quickly, quickly figuring out why she was awoken so early. Declan is tossing and turning and crying out in his sleep. She goes to him, pulling his head into her lap and running her fingers through his hair like her mother used to do with her and like she has done with Jude so many times. He quiets down though his tears soon soak into her jeans. She cries to, because this little boy with golden hair reminds her so much of the little boy she has already failed.

When Anthony awakes it is to find his bed still war, but empty and the girl called Callie sitting on the floor, his brother in her lap. She has tears in her eyes and a lullaby that sounds like a melody on her lips. When he sits up she looks up to him, and he notices not for the first time both how old and how young they all seem to be.

"Am I doing the right thing?" There is innocence in her voice that breaks his heart, and he wonders how she can be so strong.

"I don't know if there is a right and wrong anymore." He says it like a mantra. She thinks maybe they are both broken just a little too much to be repaired. He thinks of Humpy Dumpty, and wonders if he pulled any to fall down with him.

Its two more days till Callie gets away long enough to find a pay phone. She calls home.

"Hello?" It's Marianna and she wants to laugh and she wants to cry and how can she sound so close when she is so far away. There are too many breaths and not enough words. "Callie?" She says it like she can't believe she is saying anything at all. Callie can hear as the phone is passed to someone else.

"Kiddo?" It's Lena and the voice makes Callie lean her head against the wall. She hears Lena cough on a sob then take a deep breath. "Hey we aren't mad. I just really need to hear your voice. And I really want to give you a hug right now." Callie watches as her tears make a puddle against the floor.

"I'm sorry." She chokes on the last syllable before hanging the phone back up. Then she slides to sitting on the floor and sobs till she has the strength to stand.

She knows Jesus is probably hugging Mariana and Lena is calling Stef and she hates herself for hurting them. Then she imagines Brandon, in his room with his door locked and headphones on. She hopes his music sounds better than ever. She doesn't wonder what Jude is doing, she doesn't have the strength.

"Help me forget." She whispers it to Anthony's lips. Somehow he was the only one waiting when she got back and she is glad. She doesn't ask when they will be back as she pushes off his shirt. He doesn't protest as they kiss.

It's another sleepless night, and she holds a boy who isn't hers as he cries. Anthony brushes her hair behind her ear as he walks by and she wishes she could claim to love him. He picks his sleeping brother up and tucks him in his bed. There are no words to be said, but she wants to tell him about the life she almost had. About twins who fought with each other but not as furiously as they fought against the world for each other. About moms who held hands and pulled their kids up when they got knocked down. About a boy who showed the world that he was almost a man. The kind that made you believe in good again. And a little boy, that is something like a shining star, and something like a heart that is so fragile but has such a will to survive. But she says nothing and watches as he leaves.

It's another two days before she calls home again. This time she has pulled Anthony with her and she holds his hand as she presses the buttons. She wants to tell him that he makes her safe, but doesn't know the words that sound like trust.

"Hello." Its Brandon, she grips Anthony's hand just a little tighter. It takes him less time to figure it out. "Callie?" He says it like a prayer. "Just tell me you are ok." He is pleading and it hurts her more then she thinks it should.

"I'm okay." And she isn't lying. Anthony is watching her face and Brandon is listening to every breath. "Brandon." She can hear his tears and she wants to hate him for making her feel guilty. "Is mom there?"

"Yea. Which one?" She can tell he is hurt that she wants to talk to someone else. She doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

"Stef." She can almost hear the conversation that is taking place so many miles away in a place called California.

"Callie?" It's Stef's strong voice and it makes Callie stand just a little taller.

"Mom." It's the first time she has called her by the name she deserves.

"Are you ready to come home honey?" She doesn't want to push, but she wants her baby girl.

"I'm in St. Louis." She says it with permission. And Anthony's hand is slipping and she wants to explain, to say going home doesn't mean leaving him, but they both know something had to change.

"I'm on my way." She can hear the phone being passed and she is afraid of who might be on the phone next.

"I'm so so so sorry." It's Jude, and his voice makes her lose all her strength. Anthony is holding her and she is holding the phone and she is trying to so hard to be the person she has always wanted to be.

"Me too, baby. I'm coming home soon." She promises before the machine cuts them off. Then she is sobbing into Anthony's shirt. She wants to ask him to come with her, and she wishes he would ask her to stay.


	4. Chapter 4

Stef shows up early the next day. Callie doesn't ask how she knows to meet at the train station; she was betting they were tracing her calls all along. She leaves Anthony sitting in the small café. She split all the money she had left between Raven and the brothers. She spent her last few dollars on a coffee for the two of them to split.

She pulls her sleeves over her dirty fingernails, just now remembering her plan to wash up in the train station's bathroom. She keeps her cool till she reaches Stef, who says nothing, just pulls her into a hug that guarantees she won't be letting go soon. She holds on as tightly as she can.

"I'm sorry." She says it, knowing she needs to say it as much as everyone else needs to hear it.

"Shh. You can explain when we get home." She reassures the girl in her arms.

"Mom. Before we go, I want you to meet someone." She pulls her to Anthony, who is now standing. There is a moment where you can see the flight or fight. Callie watched his battle, wishing she could reassure him, but everything she could say would be a lie. Where does one go after killing their own father?

Stef looked at this new boy, watched as his eyes never left her daughter's. "Hello, I'm Stefanie Foster."

"Anthony." He offers it, as well as his hand. He has a nice handshake.

"Thank you for taking care of my daughter." It's not an easy thing to say, because of everything it admits. To thank someone for something you had failed to do on your own. It made it even harder to look at a kid that someone else had obviously failed.

"She took care of herself. And umm…" Here he looks to Callie and continues after her small nod. "She took care of my brother. Declan." Stef looks between the teens, wondering where this is going.

"So I was thinking, maybe we can talk to Bill and uh, well St. Louis isn't really the best place for them right now." Callie looks at Stef's raised eyebrows. "I know I am not in any position to be asking, but well, it's just, I think they could use the help." Stef nodded softly.

"Where is your brother?" She questioned softly.

"He is waiting outside." He answered, nodding towards the door. "I wanted him to wait till I talked about something." Here Callie holds his hand. "I am in a little bit of trouble." He chuckles. "Actually well a lot of trouble. I will own up to it, I just need to know that Declan is safe." He looks to Callie, and she nods again.

"I trust them." She says it like she is commenting on the weather, if the weather had just changed her life.

After Anthony and Stef talk, Stef decides to call Lena so she can start getting some stuff in motion. She is amazed when the two teens walk in, a young excited boy between them. He is bouncing in between steps and talking non-stop to Callie. As they draw closer he reaches for his brother's hand.

"I'm Declan!" He tells Stef, sticking out his other hand to shake hers. She shakes his hand seriously for a few moments.

"I'm Stefanie Foster." She tells the boy in a false serious tone. She looks first to her daughter, then to the two boys. "Ready to get going?" They all nod at once, and Stef is surprised when Callie's hand falls into hers. "Ready to go home?" She asks.

"Yea. I think I am." She smiles up at Stef. This is one of those moments that take an ordinary moment and turn it into a memory they will all share.

It's a train ticket for each of them and Callie is holding her breath and holding hands while somehow holding herself together. Anthony paces between train cars and Declan has long since fallen asleep, his head in Callie's lap. It comes so natural to her, running her fingers through boyish locks.

"Can you promise me something?" Stef has been twiddling her thumbs, and hoping her voice doesn't scare her precious girl away.

"What is it?" Callie tries to tone down her voice but she has never been very good with promises. They are broken as often as rules she thinks.

"No more running." Stef says it like a request but the look in her eyes dares anyone to challenge her.

"I think I am done running." It isn't a promise, but it's as close as anyone could hope for. "Promise me something?" It's a whisper, as Callie once again focuses on the boy in her lap.

"I'd do anything for you." It's not the words, as much as the love they are said with that makes Callie pause. Love isn't something she is used to.

"Keep Jude safe. No matter what happens with me or what I do or what he does." She wants to tell her they aren't a package deal anymore. That she could deal with being anywhere, even without him, if he was safe.

"Of course." Stef wants to tell her that she would never send either child away. That there are no words or actions or mistakes that could make her turn away from her children. But she knows all Callie needs right now is to know Jude is safe.

"And Anthony isn't going to give himself up in less Declan is taken care of." Callie says it like an apology.

"He will stay with us, until there is somewhere better for him." Stef doesn't like making promises she doesn't know if she can keep, but she will fight behind every decision till there isn't anything left of her. Callie reaches over and holds Stef's hand, and somehow it feels like she is already home.

**Authors Note: So she is going home! I was originally going to have her stay gone for a little longer, but I might do a short story or one-shot of the time lapsed in this story. So how do you think everyone is going to react to having Callie back? What about her bringing some friends back home? I think Lena has the best bond with the twins and Jude but somehow Stef and Callie just bonded so quickly. Anyway let me know what you think! Working on the next chapter now :) Should I slow down on the updating? I don't want it to seem rushed.**


	5. Chapter 5

Callie is surprised to find the train station relatively empty by the time they get there late that night. Stef leads them to the car, even as Callie is looking behind every pole and person, waiting for a foster sibling to pop out. Mike is waiting for them when they get to the car. Anthony pulls away, seeing the man in uniform, but Callie has a hand in his, while her other hand is holding Declan.

"California?" Anthony says her nickname like a question and the answer to a prayer he never spoke.

"It's okay." She is saying it, feeling like her mother with a bruised heart and a bruised ego. She can almost smell the stale alcohol on his breath, and it brings back so memories. But for once in her life she wants to take away his bottle, not for her or her brother but for him. "That's Mike." She wants to explain, he isn't like the other cops. And he didn't ask for this life, and he is trying and he is failing but he won't hurt us.

"Mike?" Stef is all protective anger, and it comes full force without her other half to hold her steady.

"The kid has a warrant out." He explains. Callie wants to growl, and wants to hide, and she wants to explain that this isn't fair, but she is all silence.

"Well we are taking him home and getting them settled then we are calling Bill and calling the Captain. We can do this at home." She is asking and telling and trying to persuade a man who use to hang on her every word.

"Stef." Mike is pleading, though no one knows what for. Anthony is pulling and Callie wants to know where too. What's the point in running when there is nowhere else for you to go?

"Mike you can meet us back at our house." Stef is the kind of strength Callie wishes her mother had. The kind of strength everyone sees in her. "You are okay to drive right?" Everyone watches as Mike winces like he has been slapped. The words hurt but so many things have hurt him lately. And it isn't the first time, but he is trying to get better. And it has been a day since he had his last drink but it's still so visible on him.

It's a long ride home that ends to soon. Callie is in the front, and it's a place she hasn't been in a long time. Anthony is all nerves but lays a calming hand on his brother's knee. Lena is waiting outside and Callie both wants to run to her and wants to lock the doors. Pretend she doesn't see the exhaustion that is so clear even with the excitement front and center.

She gives one look to the boys in the back seat before she is out the door and in her mother's arms. She can hear the tires of Mike's car pull up, she can see the eager faces of foster siblings, and a little brother, barely hidden behind a curtained window. Then all she can see and all she can hear is the touch of a worried mother.

"I'm so happy you are home." She whispers it like Callie is salvation. And Callie wants to laugh at the thought. She pulls away then there is a little hand in hers, and she looks down to see a boy who has grown up too quickly, a boy who might be able to protect them all from the pain.

Then she is opening the door and there are more arms around her, and more words being pressed into her hair. Jude wants to be angry, and wants to tell her never to leave again, but he loses all the words and he is crying and she is holding onto her whole world. Then Brandon has a hand on her shoulder and she looks up to him and she wonders what it is he wants her to say. Anthony is walking behind his brother, and she wonders who has been shielding who, and maybe that's what her brother and her look like to the world.

Brandon is all drawn eyebrows and worried lips. Jesus is all bouncing excitement while Marianna just smiles at Anthony and Callie wants to explain, wants to tell them all something, but she isn't sure what to say anymore.

One mother, then two, and is this a family? Is this her family? Then an ex-husband wearing a uniform reminds her of the choices she has made.

"Come on, boys let them breathe!" Lena is concerned, and she wants to close all the windows and lock all the doors, keep everyone safe. It's a ludicrous thought, but one she considers anyway.

The kids are then one by one walking up the stairs to go to bed. Mariana stomps a foot, and Jesus sighs loudly but they lead Jude up anyway. Then Brandon is hugging her again before he follows his siblings up the stairs. It's a few phone calls before everyone decides to meet there in the early morning, and Callie is pushed up the stairs as Lena makes the couch up for two more kids.

Its two in the morning and Callie still hasn't fallen asleep. She tip toes down the hallway. Her brothers are sleeping peacefully, Jude has a teddy bear in his arms, once she recognizes from Mariana's room. She wants to hug him for his innocence. She glances at Brandon's door before heading for the stairs. There is a little boy tossing on the floor and his brother pleading silently for it all just to stop.

She is holding a crying boy in her lap, and she can do this. She can hold the broken pieces of a person together till they aren't so broken anymore. She doesn't want to think about how easy they are to break again.

A boy of ten years and slowly he falls back asleep, then she feels lips on hers and tears on her cheeks that she hasn't cried. She wants to tell him it is okay. That it has taken so many years, and so much practice, so many years of broken promises and bloody fingers to be numb enough to hold together all the sharp and painful memories in her hands.

"He is all I have left." She wants to tell him she understands. Wants to tell him she knows what it is like to live for someone else. But they have had this fight before, and she just wants to sleep. "I don't want to do this." He nods towards the little boy, and Callie wants to hate him, because it seems so much like giving up. But isn't that what she has done, left her baby brother for someone else to raise, given up control so he can be someone she couldn't raise by herself?

Is Anthony seeing something that she has just started to realize? This isn't their duty. They are paying for sins of their fathers. And tomorrow they will have to stand on their own. But living for someone else is all she has really known and she doesn't know what to do with her hands when she stands and he is standing with her. Then there is a couch beneath her and she wants to tell him to stop as much as she is telling him to keep going. He breaks away and she wants to pull him closer as he recedes.

She looks at the broken boy who looks so much like her reflection.

There is breakfast on the table and questions in the air. A boy, a girl, a loving mom, and a lot of uniforms all stand around a meal that hasn't been touched. Callie is the first one everyone has their eyes on, she tells her story, breathes in and out. It isn't the first time she is being judged, at least this time it is for a crime she actually committed.

The cops say they won't bring her in. There will be a court date, something about community service, and something about good behavior.

The eyes shift to the boy on her right and she reaches for his hand. She knows how to be a rock others pull their strength from. She is her mother's daughter.

He is talking about things she doesn't want to hear. There are handcuffs coming out and soft footsteps in the hall behind her. She has tears in her eyes, and she lets one boy's hand go so she can catch his brother. She holds him as they pull his brother away. He doesn't know that the good he has done isn't right and that even laws broken for good reason have punishments.

"It's okay. I got you now." She is holding onto someone else's world and she wants to tell him it isn't fair to leave her with so many doubts still in her head and one more boy that can't face the world alone.

Her mothers are arguing with Bill, and the police officers but Callie tones them all out. She is carrying Declan up the stairs while they push his brother into a car.

"What's going on?" Its Jude with sleepy eyes and hair all a mess.

"Nothing, boo." She taps his nose, and pulls him by his shoulders into a half hug, still holding the now silent boy in her other arm. "Why don't you get to know Declan?" She doesn't want to push but she wants the weight of the world off her shoulders long enough to shower and cry.

Jude looks skeptical but Jesus is there and he is taking the boys.

"Let's play some Gameboy before moms catch us." He whispers it as if it is a secret as he shuts the door.

"Are you ok?" It's Brandon, with his own grown up sort of innocence.

"Not really." She is ashamed to be crying in his arms, but they are too quick to wrap around her. She wants to tell him she is suffocating but she likes the feeling.

"I'm really glad you are home." He presses a kiss to her forehead and it seems to burn her. "And safe." One more kiss then she is pulling away.

"I need a shower." She doesn't want to be mean but it's all she can think about. He nods and pulls away, back into his room where the sound of the piano meets her ears before she turns on the shower and steps into a world where it's just her alone.

**Authors Note: She is home! So originally I was going to have her go to Juvie for a short time but I think because she was gone for so short a time and she chose to come back on her own they might let her off. We will just have to see how her court date goes. Oh and Anthony is going to Juvie at least, maybe to jail. I like having him as kind of a mirror for Callie, they both need each other to understand because no one else really can in the same way, but I don't see them being end game. I think that is always going to be Brandon, which I might add some more of in next chapter. Which will be the family trying to get back to normal with Callie back and a new member. **

**Let me know what you think? Should I keep showing just Callie parts or should I try to write the other characters view points as well? **


	6. Chapter 6

There is chaos with syrup and cinnamon rolls waiting for her when she comes downstairs. She has never known a family that could be knocked down and shake it off so quickly. Declan and Jesus are stealing off each other's plates and laughing. There is a difference to his laughter then when they were so many miles away, a reserved tone she wants to say. Marianna is texting and Brandon is helping Jude pick out a cinnamon roll. She catches the oldest Foster sibling's eye as she enters the room. He silently nods to the empty spot next to him which she takes without a moment's hesitation.

Stef is watching the chaos from the brim of her coffee cup and Lena is passing out pancakes from her place by the stove. It feels like almost every other morning in the household and for once Callie is grateful.

Mariana and Jesus are off to hang out with some friends, the younger boys are downstairs watching Lion King with the moms. Callie retreats up the stairs, feigning a headache. She has barely tucked herself back in her bed when Brandon is standing in the doorway.

"Can we talk?" She wants to shake her head and lock the door, or at least come up with a snippy comment but she stays silent and nods her head instead. He takes a seat at the foot of her bed. "I'm sorry." She is surprised someone besides her is saying it.

"Wait… What? Why?" She has her head tilted to the side.

"I shouldn't have kissed you. With everything working out for you finally, and the Liam thing was working itself out. I didn't mean for Jude to see. I'm sorry." She is shaking her head and reaching for his hand.

"You aren't like Liam." She says it for herself as much as she says it for him. "I didn't run because of you." Maybe she can make herself believe it too. "At least, not just because of that. You don't know what it has been like, I can't even describe the way my life has gotten screwed up. I just…" She breathes then looks at him through her tear filled eyes. "I needed to prove something to myself."

"I don't get it." She wants Anthony in this moment, with his indirect eye contact and protective nature.

"I'm so glad you don't." It's a truth that is hard to accept. She would never wish her life or her thoughts on a soul as sweet as his. She pulled him now so he was lying next to her. "I'm done running. I promise."

He nods, and gently takes her hand. He stays silent as they look up at the ceiling together.

"So… Anthony?" It takes him at least five minutes to work up the courage to ask a question he couldn't get out of his head.

"Killed his father after watching him kill her mother." She says it like a defense. He winces but holds her hand tighter anyway. "He is like looking in a mirror." She wants to explain, but the words come slowly. "Sometimes I want to kill my father." He turns his head in her direction then back to the ceiling when she doesn't continue. "For killing my mother, for leaving himself." He nods, bringing her hand to his lips. She curls into his side a little. "Every time someone has hit me, I could almost feel his hand." She shakes her head a little to clear it. "He loved me." She says it with a conviction she doesn't feel. Like a dying plea. "It was just the drinking." She isn't crying but her head is now on his chest and his arm has come around her.

"My father is drinking again." He doesn't know why he says it. He is surprised by his own voice.

"I know." And she feels like history is repeating itself. She wants to shout at the world to stop, but has long since outgrown the feeling that she can control anything but herself. "I'm sorry." She doesn't think it will help, but its words to fill the silence that has long since been too heavy.

"Tell me about your mother?" It's a request, like a child asking for a bed time story.

"She looked like me, but her hair was long and Jude has her eyes. She treated me like a princess and Jude was her knight in shining armor she use to say. She loved white roses and fall." It hurts to talk, like she has lost her voice. "I didn't understand then that she was protecting us when he came home drunk. Some days he would come home and spin me round and round till I couldn't walk straight. I wondered on the other nights which one of us wasn't walking straight." It's a bitter laugh and she is curling into him more, tears now staining his shirt. "She had this laugh that could make everyone turn her way. And her voice when she sang…" She trailed off then looked up at him, a childlike wonder in her pain filled eyes. "I never once heard her cry or scream. Even when he was angry and I did something wrong and she stepped in front of him for me." She wants to say her mother did everything she has been trying to do since her death.

"I would have loved to meet her." Callie looks up at this boy who has so much love and compassion in his eyes and in his heart and she cries. For the mother she has lost and for a childhood that she lost with her.

"She would have loved you." She even thinks it is true. A gentle man, her mom had always told her to find. A man who loved you with his words and eyes, one who had gentle hands and an even gentler heart.

"Do you?" It's a risky question, and he isn't sure if her silence that answers means as much as any words she could say.

"I don't know." She whispers it into his shirt, even as she is pulling away. She means to say she doesn't know what love is, or what it feels like. Doesn't know how to explain it to a boy who has grown up never knowing a day without love. "I think I could." It's almost like a peace offering, a white flag of sorts. He just pulls her closer and holds her tight as her breathing finally evens out.

**Authors Note:** **Thank you for all the positive reviews so far! I'm not sure how much I will be posting on the weekend but if I don't get around to writing more till Monday I hope this holds you over. Let me know what you think :) Suggestions, comments, and constructive criticism are always welcome! **


	7. Chapter 7

There is the way a home breathes, like it has a heart that beats. No house she has ever stayed in has done this before. The creaking floor boards bring a smile to her face as she tip toes sometime after midnight. She used to cringe at the sound, always afraid of waking a sleeping monster. She is getting the cookies from the top shelf when she hears a noise behind her. She turns quickly, relaxing at the sight of Jude standing there. He is sleepy eyes and a carefree smile.

"Cookies?" She offers the box after taking one. He accepts it but makes no move to eat any.

"Why'd you leave?" His innocence and curiosity make the words sharper than any knife. Maybe he is done blaming her, but it makes her blame herself more. She turns to make some hot chocolate.

"I'm sorry. I know I messed up and I just made it worse by leaving." She can almost see him trying to process. Why is it her family that is growing up to quick? She wants to hate all those happy families in their cookie cutter houses.

"Okay… Then why?" She can see she is going to have to spell out every detail to make him understand. After all the pain she caused, even if it was trying to protect him, she still feels like she owes him something.

"I needed to figure some stuff out. It's always been just you and me against the world, and I was tired." She can't find the words to explain without making him feel guilty about things he had no hand in. She was just so tired of having the weight of both their worlds on her shoulders. "I think part of me is afraid of being happy." The other part wonders if there is even such a thing.

"I want you to be happy." He says it like it is a new idea for him too. Her happiness is not something either had thought much about before. "Does Brandon make you happy?" He says it like one person could hold all your happiness.

"He makes me so happy, and so confused. And it hurts because I never want my happiness to hurt anyone else." She wants to tell him not to look at others for your happiness, but she is no expert.

"Connor makes me happy." He has such an innocence in the words yet she still winces at the words. She was raised where people's intolerance meant so much then just hurtful words. She has scars to prove it. She is too tired to fight this fight, against an opponent who doesn't show its face. She hands a mug to Jude before sipping on her own. Jude takes his with him and Callie watches as his tired feet hit the stairs on his way up. It isn't till he is up the stairs that she realizes he took the cookies with him.

Callie has long since finished her hot cocoa yet she isn't tired. She thinks about checking on Declan, however she is surprised when she steps into the living room and Brandon is kneeling by the couch, one hand running through the sleeping boy's hair. He looks up as she enters and his gaze makes her halt. He slowly stands then leads her back to the kitchen.

"I heard noises so I came down to check and he was tossing and turning." He explains, nodding towards the young boy.

"Thank you." She is leaning against the counter while he leans against the table opposite of her. "So… how much did you hear?" She glances up from her feet to look at him between her lashes.

"Enough." He says like it should explain some hidden question. Then he is standing and leaning into her and his hand is on her cheek then in her hair and she could be lost or found in this moment. "I want to make you happy." It is a whisper against her lips and she wants to resist but she is kissing back and now her hands are sliding on his back and tangled in his hair. He is pulling away as she starts to breathe again.

"It's not fair." She doesn't clarify, doesn't give him time to respond before she is kissing him again. Maybe she means it's not fair that she finally finds a home and now it's complicated. Or maybe it isn't fair to leave making her happy up to him.

"Tell me you won't run again." She nods against his lips, before he is pulling away again.

"I promise." He gives in again, and she is sitting on the counter and now she is tilting her head down to kiss him. Her legs are wrapping around his waist, then suddenly there is light and he is pulling away.

"Oh my god!" Its Stef and her hands are over her eyes. Then she is peeking through her fingers to look at the two teens who are now as far apart as possible in the one room. Callie slowly lets herself fall back to the ground. "Brandon! And Callie?" She is shaking her head and trying to process.

"I made hot cocoa." Callie adds hopefully with an apologetic smile.

**Authors Note: I both really like and really don't like this chapter, I can't really decide. Anyway review, let me know what you think!**

**Next chapter will be Stef's reaction and something else, I'm not sure just yet. **


	8. Chapter 8

"I saw nothing!" Stef called in her fake happy sing-song voice, backing out of the kitchen slowly, then walking up the stairs. Callie looked to Brandon who had a big grin on his face.

"Stop!" She started laughing along with his quiet chuckles. "It's not funny!" She protested as he came closer to wrap his arms around her.

"Who do you think she is going to try to give the sex talk first?" Brandon asked, still laughing. Callie put her head in her hands. "Hey, it might not be that bad. She defiantly likes you more than any of my past girlfriends."

"Girlfriends? As in plural?" She questioned slowly. "Not that it is important or anything I guess."

"Yea there are sooo many of them, I started young, asked out Rebecca Frampkin on the playground in the fifth grade." Callie laughed, shaking her head at him. "Hey she broke my heart! Well and my arm."

"Do you really think they are going to be okay with it?" She said, barely above a whisper, nodding her head to the upstairs rooms.

"Honestly Callie I don't know." Her head fell forward slowly at this, as her shoulders dropped a little. "What I do know," he bent down so they had eye contact, "I want this, and I know you wouldn't want to keep this from everybody anyway." She nodded softly, putting her arms around his neck and letting her forehead rest against his. After a few moments he broke the silence. "Maybe we should get some sleep."

She nodded, checking on Declan before taking Brandon's hand as he led her up the stairs.

Callie was sitting on the couch, her feet tucked under her. Jesus, Jude, and Declan were sprawled across the floor, playing some sort of video game as Callie tried to focus on her book. Brandon came down just as she had picked up the book to read again. He sat on the couch next to her, getting to work on some of his homework as well.

Stef and Lena meanwhile were sitting on their bed, talking about last night's events.

"So you walked in on Callie and Brandon?" Lena questioned for the third time.

"Kissing, Yes."

"They were kissing in the kitchen?"

"With the candlestick." Stef joked, holding her wife's hand.

"Stef, what do we do?" Lena suddenly seemed a little weighed down. Stef reached over, kissing her wife.

"We talk to them, decide on a plan of action to keep this family together. We do what we always do." She sounded so sure, but of course she had been able to sleep on it.

"Are we punishing them for this?" Lena asked. Oh, how the rolls got reversed so easily.

"No I don't think so. I mean we will need to make some new rules, have a few more family chats. And they are both getting another safe sex talk. Then maybe we can take Callie shopping, let her know we aren't mad?" Lena nodded, leaning into her wife's side.

By the time the moms had made their way downstairs Callie's feet had made their way onto Brandon's lap and Callie had somehow gotten distracted enough to start taking turns playing the video games as well. Jude was laughing as Jesus complained loudly about being beat by a girl. Callie however lost her concentration, looking up to try to judge the look on the mom's faces.

"I won!" Jesus exclaimed. "Oh. Morning moms! The boys and I made breakfast." Lena laughed, seeing the plate of cinnamon buns and the mess of the kitchen from her view point.

"I see that. Thank you boys." Lena sat on the recliner, while Stef sat on the arm. "So Callie… Brandon… do you want to talk now or later?" Jesus glanced over at them, pausing the game, much to the younger boys chargain.

"Who wants to go shoot some hoops?" Jesus asked, pulling the two boys to play basketball with him, despite them all being in their pajamas still.

"So who wants to start?" This comes from Lena, as Brandon slowly moves Callie's legs so they can both sit up properly. It seems almost natural.

"I like Callie." Brandon explains, to which both the moms nod.

"I think I got that, Brandon." Stef explains, reaching her hand out to touch his knee. "I actually have a question for Callie though." Callie nodded, looking between everyone in the room. "Is this why you left?" Callie looked panicked at the question.

"I uh… Jude caught us, and he blamed me for every home we lost. I was being selfish, wanting to be happy when it could cost him so much, but I also realized he shouldn't have to rely on me so much." She was willing them to understand, wanted them to see that the mistake was only hers and nothing Brandon or Jude did or didn't do could have changed that.

"Okay." Stef looked at Lena for a moment, then put both hands on Callie's knees, moving to sit in front of her so she could get better eye contact. "What happened with Anthony?"

"What do you mean? Why?" Callie was pulling away, looking to Brandon quickly.

Lena was starting to stand, ready to intervene. "I know you two slept together, I'm not stupid Callie. I just don't want Brandon getting hurt." The way she said this had Callie pulling her knees up, ready to defend herself against the world the only way she knew how.

"Stef!" Lena's sharp voice interrupted them all. "Callie we care about you too. You and Jude are part of this family, we just need to figure out how we all fit." Lena was trying to explain as she approached the girl on the couch, putting her hand on her wife's shoulder as she went. Brandon was silent, sitting in the corner of the couch, taking it all in.

"I still want you to adopt Jude. If you send me away, just promise you will keep him safe." Callie was pleading with Stef now, her arms wrapped around her knees.

"We aren't kicking you out Callie." Stef was cautious and sorry now. "I care about you, I just need to know before we agree to you two seeing each other or whatever we decide that we are all on the same page."

"I like Brandon." At the looks she was receiving she felt the need to go on. "I really like Brandon. Enough that I already risked everything."

"Brandon?" Stef had her attention turned back to her son.

"I need some time." He told them before leaving the room and climbing the stairs.

**Authors Note: Sorry about the delay! This one was really hard to write for some reason. I actually wasn't planning on the Anthony/Callie thing being told to Brandon just yet but I guess it wanted to come out. Anyway let me know what you think!**


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